When You Just Can’t: 9 Simple Tools to Interrupt the Spiral
There are moments when everything feels too much.
Not in a dramatic way. Not in a throw-your-phone-across-the-room way.
More like: your body feels heavy, your brain won’t cooperate, and the thought of doing anything except for spinning out with thoughts of doom feels... impossible.
I call this “the spiral.”
You might call it shutdown. Freeze. Blankness. Panic. Rage. The Nothing.
Whatever you call it — the most powerful thing I’ve learned is that trying to think your way out doesn’t work.
The shift happens when you give your body a safe little “ping.”
Not a fix. Not a mindset. Just a signal that says:
“Hey. I see you. You’re here. You’re real. And we can take the tiniest breath forward.”
These are 9 tiny tools I still use when I just can’t. No pressure. No fixing. Just space.
pssst: at the bottom of this page, there is a link to download an 8.5 x 11 pdf of the tools so that you always have them on hand
Know this: When you have been living in survival mode or dealing with emotional trauma for any period of time, it’s tricky to get your body and mind to trust in and feel a different reality. Be patient and gentle with yourself. Start with these 9 tools and build on them. Create your own, mix and match and tweak.
Understand that your goal is to simply create a pause. A small sliver of space. That is where your shifts will begin.
One day something may work for you like magic and the next it does nothing. Don’t question, don’t force, just move to the next tool in your box.
1. SQUEEEEZE
Give yourself the biggest, tightest hug you can.
Wrap your arms around your body like you mean it.
If you can, notice how your arms feel. Your breathing. The rise and fall of your chest.
You are real. You are here.
2. STEP OUTSIDE (even for a second)
Even if it’s just the doorway.
Even if it’s raining.
One deep breath of outside air can shift everything.
Let it hit your skin. Let it not fix everything. That’s fine. Just… step out.
3. THE “ENOUGH” EXHALE
Inhale through your nose.
Exhale with a whisper:
“That’s enough for now.”
Repeat it if you need to. Softly. Loudly. With tears. It’s a spell.
Let it be the exhale that says: “I don’t have to carry it all right now.”
4. PRESS YOUR PALMS
Push your hands together — like you’re pressing into a wall.
Hold for 10 seconds.
Feel your own strength. Let go slowly.
This one’s sneaky powerful. Try it.
5. AIM FOR NEUTRAL
When you’re overwhelmed with big, messy, bad feelings — don’t force yourself into “good.”
Don’t even reach for calm.
Reach for neutral.
No toxic positivity. No pressure. Just a single click down from “Everything Is Too Much.”
6. ASK MAGIC QUESTIONS
These are silly and weird and surprisingly wonderful.
Instead of forcing affirmations, ask your brain a question it has to answer.
Try these:
Why am I so calm today?
Why is this actually working out for me?
Why do I have such amazing focus right now?
Your brain doesn’t know the difference. Let it play.
7. HOLD SOMETHING TEXTURED
Grab a spoon from the freezer. A fuzzy sock. A leaf. A bumpy rock.
Let your fingers explore it like it’s a little alien artifact.
This isn’t a cute sensory hack. It’s a grounding practice.
Let it remind your brain: “I’m here. I feel. I touch.”
8. NAME FIVE THINGS
The classic 5-sense check-in. But make it soft and non-demanding:
1 thing you see
1 thing you hear
1 thing you feel
1 thing you smell
1 thing you like
Even if the only thing you like is your blanket. That counts. Want to go warrior mode with this? Try to focus on all five senses at the same time.
9. The Spark Trick: Ground Before You Spin
When things feel like they’re about to slip, try grounding your body before your mind starts spinning out.
It sounds backwards, but it works.
Your body is the gateway. And these tools are the key.
🎁 Want to keep this nearby?
Grab the printable version of these tools right here — no email needed:
👉 Download Simple Tools for When You Just Can’t (PDF) ←
Stick it on your wall. Slide it in your journal. Fold it into your glovebox.
More gentle support for the spiral:
You might love these, too:
🌟 The Spark Starter Kit (Free) – Grounding tools, mood magic, and safety spells for the early spark stage
🪄30 Days of Magic- A no-eye-roll Gratitude Journal that uses magic questions to sneakily make shifts
🧘♀️ Permission to Pause Journal – A 30-day guide to exhaling, resting, and softening (without guilt)
