I Lost My Spark — Here’s How I Started to Get It Back
When You Realize Your Spark Is Gone
It rarely happens in one big crash.
But one morning you just wake up and feel… flat.
You’re doing the same things you’ve always done — showing up, checking boxes, getting through the day — but it’s like your light got dimmed somewhere along the way.
You can’t quite remember the last time you felt excited.
You keep telling yourself it’s just stress or hormones or the weather.
But deep down, you know something quieter and scarier is happening.
If you’ve caught yourself whispering, “I think I’ve lost my spark,” I need you to know this:
You are not broken or hopeless. You’re just spark-depleted.
You’ve been in survival mode for so long that your system stopped making room for joy.
That spark — the one that used to show up as laughter, curiosity, or sudden inspiration — didn’t disappear. It’s just buried under exhaustion, people-pleasing, and the weight of constantly holding it all together.
Why You Lose Your Spark
You don’t lose your spark because you gave up.
You lose it because you’ve been carrying too much for too long — trying to get through your days and keep everyone else’s fire burning while quietly running out of fuel yourself.
Maybe you’ve been walking on eggshells in a relationship that drains you.
Maybe you’ve been the strong one for so long that you forgot what softness feels like.
Or maybe you’ve just been endlessly “holding it together,” convincing yourself that being numb is better than falling apart.
Over time, the constant managing, fixing, and over-functioning starts to dim something inside you.
The color fades. The laughter feels forced. Even things that once felt easy now feel like chores.
You didn’t lose your spark because you’re unmotivated or ungrateful — you lost it because your nervous system got tired of surviving.
You’re not broken, lazy, behind, or hopelessly stuck.
You’re spark-depleted — and that’s a kind of exhaustion that deserves compassion, not shame.
The Myth of the Big Fix
When you feel burned out or lostin life, the world rushes in with advice like it’s passing out flyers.
“Wake up every day at 5!”
“Just journal more!”
“Do a detox!”
“Manifest your dream life before breakfast!”
You’ve probably tried a few of those things. I did too. Dozens and dozens of them actually. And honestly? Most of them just made me feel worse — like I’d failed another invisible test.
Here’s the truth no one wants to admit:
When you’ve been in survival mode for years, adding more doing doesn’t help. You can’t schedule your way out of depletion. You can’t high-vibe your way out of grief.
Getting your spark back isn’t about massive transformation; it’s about tiny exhale moments that remind your body it’s safe to exist again.
Sometimes that means a slow cup of coffee in silence.
Sometimes it’s skipping the affirmation and just muttering, “Okay, universe, do your thing,” while you microwave leftovers.
The big fix is a myth. The small, human moments — those are what start to relight you.
How I Started to Find My Spark Again
For me, it didn’t happen after some huge epiphany.
There was no vision board, no perfect morning routine, no cosmic download that suddenly made me love my life again.
It started in the weirdest way.
I was far from home, sick, and forced to let go of control because I literally couldn’t hold anything together. And somehow, in that stillness — in that surrender — I felt peace for the first time in decades.
That tiny flicker of calm cracked something open. It showed me that my spark wasn’t gone; it had just been buried under all the trying.
After that, I stopped looking for giant turning points and started collecting micro-moments instead.
Little things that felt like me again:
Putting on a song that I loved when I was in high school and having a rush of actual feelings.
Letting myself laugh — really laugh — even if it was at a dumb meme. (Spark tip: when some silly meme or video makes you giggle, save it in a special “open in case of mood emergency” folder.)
Sitting in the car for five extra minutes before going inside, because it was quiet and I could breathe.
Writing one line in a journal instead of forcing a “daily practice.”
These tiny, almost invisible acts were what rebuilt me. They didn’t look like progress, but they were proof — tiny sparks of proof — that I was still in there somewhere.
And the more I noticed them, the more they showed up.
What to Do When You Feel Numb
When you’re spark-depleted, motivation advice just sounds… exhausting.
People say things like, “Just start!” or “You have to want it badly enough,” and you’re sitting there thinking, I’d love to want anything at all.
I remember excitedly signing up for a course on rediscovering your passion. And the whole course was based on the answer to the quetion that was something like “If time and money weren’t an issue, what would you do?” Really? If I knew that, I wouldn’t be in the class. How was I supposed to know that when I was blank inside?
So here’s the deal — if you’re in that place, you don’t need a routine, you need relief.
And relief doesn’t come from force; it comes from permission.
Here are a few gentle ways to start feeling like yourself again — no hustle, no gold stars required:
Notice without fixing.
If you feel empty, name it. Say, “I feel flat today,” and let that be enough. Sometimes awareness is the spark.Start ridiculously small.
One deep breath. One glass of water. Standing outside for sixty seconds. You’re rebuilding trust with your nervous system, not chasing productivity. Don’t pooh-pooh this because it is fundamental to your healing. If you insist on going big, you’re mind and body are going to fight back, feel unsafe, and make you wonder what the heck is wrong with you.Follow curiosity, not rules.
Forget “what you should do.” Do what makes you feel even 2% more human. That could mean rearranging your bookshelf, eating cookies in the bathtub, or googling “why raccoons wash their food.” (It’s weirdly soothing, by the way.)Let rest count.
Rest isn’t a reward you earn after fixing yourself — it’s what starts to heal you.Capture your sparks.
Write them down, record them in your phone, color them in on a tracker — proof that you’re coming back to life one flicker at a time.
If that’s all you do for now — notice, breathe, rest, and collect proof — that’s enough.
That’s more than enough.
The Spark Isn’t Gone — It’s Waiting for You
Here’s the truth: your spark never actually left.
It just got buried under years of surviving, hustling, overthinking, caretaking, and pretending you were fine.
That part of you that laughs too loud, that gets weirdly excited about tiny things, that feels something and actually lets herself feel it — she’s still in there. She’s just been waiting for a sign that it’s safe to come out again.
And every time you choose rest over guilt, or curiosity over control, or kindness over pressure — you’re already calling her back.
Your spark doesn’t come roaring back all at once; it flickers in.
A laugh here.
A deep breath there.
A sudden craving for music or movement or color.
Those little moments? That’s your proof.
Proof that your spark isn’t gone — it’s just remembering you.
So don’t rush the process.
You don’t have to go find the old you.
You’re becoming a new version — softer, wiser, and maybe a little bit feral in the best way.
She’s not lost.
She’s just been waiting for you to slow down enough to notice the glow.
A Gentle Next Step
If this landed somewhere deep — if a little part of you just whispered, “Oh… that’s me,” — then your spark is already waking up.
Don’t overthink what comes next.
You don’t need a 12-week plan or a reinvention checklist.
You just need a way to keep noticing the tiny moments that make you feel alive again.
That’s why I created the Spark Starter Kit — it’s a free collection of gentle micro-actions to help you reconnect with your energy, curiosity, and joy. It’s hosted in a cozy hub that is there whenever you need it.
No pressure. No perfection. Just small, human sparks — the kind that slowly rebuild your trust in yourself.
If you’re ready to start feeling something again — even a little bit — this is your invitation.
✨ Download the kit, pick one spark, and see what shifts.
Because the truth is, you don’t have to chase your spark.
You just have to make a little space, and it’ll find you.
